Archive for November, 2006

Funny how I can see things….

November 30, 2006

It’s interesting that I can see some things but not all things. But what am I talking about exactly? It’s weird. Sometimes I have this 6th sense for how a person feels or reacts or how they think. Sadly, it happens usually only when I’m very serious about them and care dearly for them. Most of the time I do not like what I find out, most of the time I’m right about it.

Delimma is that I can read these things, but it is never a good read, or at least it has not been good for a while now. Some say that knowing too much is harmful at times, you really don’t want to know what’s happening all the time. But then again a control over the world and society is nice.

Sadlly I can see into some personalities and some hearts. I can evaluate some issues and some feelings that are only spoken or choosen in some order. Using my understanding of thought and what most people will think in some situations I’m able to see things that make me sad at times. Of course it’s no so much that everything makes me sad, but more like it does not run in the course of my liking.

Oh wells, that’s society right? Uncontrolable mass of humans seeking inter dependence and yet individuality and yet there is no need for such things…. But i wish it would happen to me though… It’s been a long time since then.

I’ll just have to wait my turn I suppose.

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BIG Dinner! I paid for 10 people! @.@;;;;

November 29, 2006

Morning:
– Orange Juice
– Boiled Egg
Lunch:
– Grilled Cheese
– Fries with Gravy
– Cream of Vegetable Soup
Dinner:
– 1 lb. Baby-Back Ribs
– Garlic Mash Potatos
– Ice Tea
Misc:
– 2 Bottles of water.

Went to Baton Rouge with the team. 10 people total! As the leader I gotta take care of my team members of courese =) Total comes out to 370$ CAD. Pretty pricey place and averaged about 30 bucks a person. It’s kinda too much, but I think it’s worth it.

If you expect the best out of your members, you’ve got to provide the best. Keep everyone happy and content so that they feel there is a level of respect for your strife in taking care of them. Effectivily it is the trade off of, gaining more work and well focused work out of happy and willing members of the team, verses how much I need to fight and talk back to the company administration to explain why these expenses are required.

Normal day, failed to work out though >.

November 28, 2006

Morning:
– Orange Juice
– Boiled Egg
Lunch:
– Cream of Vegetable Soup
– Grilled Cheese Sandwitch
Dinner:
– Mu shu Pork
– Sizziling Sweet and Sour Beef
– Fired Rice
– Tea
– Shrimp
Misc:
2 Bottles of water

I need to drink more water during the day. I definitly filled up on dinner. I should watch out and not eat so much. The lunches are generally not as nutrious as it could be.  At least I got something to eat though! My health is still recovering from yesterday where I only ate a one time the whole day.

I also failed in working out. I’ll have to try and get home earlier tomorrow.

Mondays: Reborn a blaze

November 27, 2006

6 min treadmill – running pace
10 pull-downs
20 front dumbbell raises
20 dumbbell sawing lifts
10 pull-downs
5 min treadmill – running pace
20 front dumbbell raises
10 pull-downs
20 front dumbbell raises
10 pull-downs
20 front dumbbell raises
5 min treadmill – running pace

Phew!~ All of this one only a dinner this whole day! Omg! I’m definitly stupid =P

Well hopefully my life will start to balance it self more. Just gotta keep it up.

The plan:
Mondays: Back + Shoulder + Running
Tuesdays: Abs + Sauna/Spa
Wednesday: Biceps + Triceps+ Running
Thusdays: Shadow Boxing + Sauna/Spa
Friday: Back + Chest + Running
Saturaday: Sauna/Spa
Sunday: Relax

Starving Diet?

November 27, 2006

Morning:
– Orange Juice
Lunch:
Dinner:
– Soft Tofu Soup
– Bbq beef
– Salmone Sushi
– Tea
Misc:
1 Bottle of water

Work got crazy and required me to spend over time during lunch. Starved during the day but at least the fact that it was busy kept me from thinking about my stomach.

I really like this Korean place that I’m currently going to. Really good. I stated the following to my team members: “The culenary skill of this resturant is really great.” I felt smart and snotty saying it :3 But I really meant it too! I like tofu.

I’ts 9:13pm and I am food comma’d now.

Music returns! ^__^ Idealogies broken!

November 26, 2006

It’s been a quite some time now. I’ve always been in a lot of pain whenever I listened to music. But recently, and finally, I’ve been kicked in the head and I think I’m better for it now.

Founds some interesting music and some sounds I really enjoy! It’s really quite different now than it was before. I believe there is much more of an realization in “how” to enjoy music.

I suppose there has always been a very an exhaustive need for me to find a bit of closure on some things, but after holding it back for so long it just kind of all came out at once. Too much compression will do that to ya I suppose! Well for the most part, I’ve let it out now and even after the harsh feelings, I’m better for it all.

The best way to explain this may be that I have had an idealistic barrier around my life which kept me safe and secure. I liked the warmth of the water there and feared stepping into the out side in fear of losing my idealistic ways. But as pressure built and built and built, I crawlled up, did my best to hold my place, I fought back, supported my collaposing bubble. In the end, when the pressure was too much, it just went pop! Now I just don’t care as much. It is important of course to say that it is not the case that I have no more ideals. Of course I still retain my ‘self’ it’s just an additional acceptence that my bubble is leaking, and it’s really not all that bad.

Feel free, a lot less confined, of course there are restrictions, but now my borders are further and I have so much to explore =)

Broke my diet! Oh no!

November 26, 2006

Morning:
– Orange Juice
– Waffle
– Scrambled Eggs
– Egg Muffin
– Potato ovals like fries
Lunch:
– Pizza
– Garlic Bread with Cheese and Bacon
– Water
Dinner:
– Soft Tofu Soup
– Some Korean Beef Ribs and Beef slices
– Soju
– Tea
Misc:
– 3 Bottles of Water

Need to get back on track >.<

Working-out by working?

November 26, 2006

I’m soar all over >.>;;; but I have not worked out in the last two days! What I have been doing though is standing up a lot. I think the wikipedia was right about keeping a good posture. It said something to this degree:

– If you keep an erect posture, it helps blood flow as well as muscle development.
– By keeping good posture, your abs will be stretched more and muscles between back and abs will build and become stronger, producing a smaller core waist over time.
– If you keep good posture, you will waste less energy correcting for hanging mass, and feel like you have more energy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posture#Optimal_human_positions_and_balanced_erect_posture

For the most part, I’m starting to see some differences. There are some things that I am doing aside from relaxing though. I am pulling my shoulders back as part of the daily excersize. It’s tiring, but I can already see some results ^__^. Of course it may also be a part of my healther eating =)

I’m soar, but I didn’t do anything today. I’m somewhat assuming all this back straightening has an effect on it. I guess i won’t know until a later time.

Late post @.@

November 26, 2006

Saturday: 2005 Nov 25

Morning:
– Tuna and Crackers
Lunch:
– Chicken Shawarma
– Can of V8
Dinner:
– Bisket Burger
– French Fries
– Ice Tea
Misc:
– 2 Bottles of water

Friday: 2005 Nov 24

Morning:
– Tuna and Crackers
Lunch:
– Noodle Soup
– Grilled Cheese Sandwitch
Dinner:
– Hot and Sour Soup
– Chinese Family style, spicy dishes
– Wulong Tea
Misc:
– 2 Bottles of water

9:30am to 3am work day… I’m beat

November 25, 2006

So like it’s been a long day. I’m tired. One thing that I find interesting is that I didn’t burn out yet, or not completely burned out yet. I’m still pretty well mentally aware, but not exactly completely sane. My body is tired, my stomach is confused and thinks it’s hungry, my arms and legs are limb but still functional, my reflexies are down, and I’ll laugh at just about anything at this point.

I suppose it’s a good thing that I can still think somewhat consciencily to some degree, but definitly not at my normal nack and awareness level. I wonder exactly how long i can do before I start losing it and getting completely fuzzy.

Speaking of fuzzy, it reminds me a bit of when I was drinking recently. It’s definitly not as bad at that head cloudy/fuzzy feeling, but very close.

One thing that doesn’t stand well is the fact that when I’m tired I do lose more control over my sub-conscience. I do notice myself thinking things in the background of my main thought stream, and some of them I can not control. Definitly a taste of my fears, my angers, my uneasiness in life. I suppose that somewhat tells me that I’m a man ruled by my fears. I fear lots of things, but some of them are always being lonely and being unwanted. Somehow, not fitting in really gets to my depressive side and my brain makes a lot of unhappy chemicals when the thought occurs.

Anyhow, my mind’s slowly losing control of my thoughts and my brain and chemisty is taking over.

Always thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, history, past, things I regret, thing I wish I did differently. Where’s my sub-conscience optumistic side? =P Anyhow, life’s a roller coaster I guess, my “self” is just there along the ride and at the moment tunnel of this segment is very dark and unwilling.

I’ll have to do something about this 18+ work hours. It’s pretty unhealthy for me mentally as well as physically.